Darkness, and Light

It’s an understatement to say that what you’re about to read was much harder to write than my usual review of a concert, etc. I'm posting this today in recognition of International Suicide Prevention Day…

A number of years ago, I was sitting with three friends after work, enjoying some wine, cheese, and crackers at a wine bar in Central Florida. Three of us were from the northeast and had met the fourth friend through work and spent a fair amount of time together.

I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about - probably the typical stuff - work, sports, plans for the upcoming weekend. At one point, one of my friends from the Northeast receive a call. Seeing it was from his wife he took the call. As my friend listened, he became very quiet and we watched the color drain from his face. He finished the call and somehow got the words out to tell us that his wife had received a call from the college that their son was attending saying that their son had passed away, from an apparent suicide.

We of course scrambled to get our friend on a plane back to the northeast to be with his wife. I remember feeling numb and not really thinking too straight, but knowing we needed to take care of our friend. To this day that was the worst moment and day of my life. I can’t begin to imagine how it was for our friend.

As time went on, I tried to make a point to stay in touch with my friend. I saw he and his wife naturally struggle, but also saw them do an amazing job keeping their son present in their thoughts. They did not hide pictures of their son. In fact, they displayed them prominently in their home. They also did not shy away from talking about their son. My friend has a saying - “As long as they are talking, they are breathing, so keep talking”. I’m pretty sure that his words were in the back of my mind a few years later as I was talking on the phone with my son who was 2000 miles away from me and was in a deep dark place, and I just knew that suicide was on his mind. My son is alive today leading a full rewarding life. Words can’t describe how thankful I am for that…

Recently, I’ve written a song about my friend’s experience with his son and the strength that he and his wife have shown in moving forward with their lives. I can only hope that reading this and hearing my song might help someone else who may be facing the same horror to find a way through the darkness.

The song “Joe” is available here on my website and all of the popular streaming services. Thank you for reading.